Muchness

“‎You're not the same as you were before," he said. You were much more... muchier... you've lost your muchness.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

In my life, if there is one theme that has always been present, this is the one.

MUCHNESS.

I have always been “too much”… Too much to handle. Too opinionated. Too strong. Too smart. Too loud. Too demanding. Too controlling. Too energetic. Too emotional. Too spirited. Too MUCH!! People have never had a problem letting me know about my “muchness”.

It took 47 years, this is my birthday, to fully embrace my muchness. I am a lot… thank you God for endowing me well, in all ways :) I am all that God meant me to be and I won’t apologize. I no longer shrink; for most of my life I would shrink myself to make others feel comfortable. Women who are “too much” are often expected to reduce themselves, in whatever way necessary, to make those around her feel more comfortable. Constant adaptation is exhausting.

We all have our struggles, but not making room for “muchness” is a particularly insidious way to destroy a person. It is meant to keep people small. Too keep them quiet. Too keep them in a specific place. Good news, we can overcome the opinions of others and learn to love our muchness. Despite societal pressures I am slowly finding my muchness again… one goat at a time.

The goats don’t think I am too much, they often let me know I am not enough :) I look forward to sharing the MUCHNESS of it all with you soon!

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